and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize