What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
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