I love black thongs
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
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