just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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