do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
