Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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