Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Randomize
