you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
