I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
