Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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