He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
