You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
