remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
If I had your ass I would rule the world
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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