i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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