Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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