have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
