Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It was like getting head from an anaconda
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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