i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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