Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
