five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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