i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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