Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
