Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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