She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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