toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
