So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I would fuck him just for his dog
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
