dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
