i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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