Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize