I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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