I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
