i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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