Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You're earring is so big in my mouth
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
