Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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