i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
