there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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