Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
