fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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