sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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