just tell him i said nine months
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
