please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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