mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
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Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
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I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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