I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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