Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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