so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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