Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My vagina just recognized that song.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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