On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
