He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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