I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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