and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
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So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
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Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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