she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
