Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
