So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
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Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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