Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
