Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize