If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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