you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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