So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Randomize
