Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
