Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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