So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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