Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
