Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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