dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
