So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
