How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
